EVERYDAY LEADERS: TRUST

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey

This year I am focusing on everyday leaders. Not those who hold a formal position of authority, but those of us who, through our behaviors, have the ability to influence and inspire those around us just by being us. This is the twelfth and final installment of articles that focus on one specific behavior that can make a huge difference in our ability to impact the lives of others.

This month I want to talk about trust. What does trust have to do with being an everyday leader? Trust is a vital component of leadership. Everyday leaders earn the trust of those the work with through both their words and actions. They also understand that trust is a two-way street and strive to demonstrate their trust in others. So, what does trust look like in everyday leadership?

Authenticity:

Everyday leaders are authentic. They have nothing to hide; no hidden agendas, no secrets. You can count on an everyday leader to be real with you; no having to second guess what their true intentions are. It is this authenticity that proves to others that they can be trusted. Authenticity gives everyday leaders a powerful influence in the environments in which they work.

Respect:

The respect they show toward others speaks to the character of everyday leaders. Respect and trust go hand-in-hand. Everyday leaders stand out from the crowd because of the mutual respect and trust that they develop with others. When it comes to deciding whom to follow, those who show respect and are respected will come out ahead every time.

Relationships:

Leadership is all about relationships and everyday leaders are expert relationship builders. These relationships are built on a solid foundation of trust. Everyday leaders are able to influence and inspire others, in large part, because of the solid relationships they develop and maintain.

Everyday leaders have a strong influence because they are trusted. They are authentic and true. They earn respect and give it in return. The build strong relationships. These behaviors place everyday leaders in a position of influence where they can have an impact in the lives of those they work with.

How can you start earning trust today?

I am passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. I am the Founder of Stincelli Advisors where I focus on helping organizations change attitudes, change communication dynamics, improve collaboration and problem-solving, engage employees, and strengthen organizational culture. I am the author of “Overcoming Barriers in Your Leadership”. I am a Training Partner with StephenK Leadership. I hold a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about me by visiting my website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with me on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact me by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

Improving Management Team Performance

“Ultimately, leadership is not about glorious crowning acts. It’s about keeping your team focused on a goal and motivated to do their best to achieve it, especially when the stakes are high and the consequences really matter. It is about laying the groundwork for others’ success, and then standing back and letting them shine.” —Chris Hadfield

The key to improving management team performance is summarized quite nicely in the Chris Hadfield quote above. When your management team can lay the groundwork for their employees to succeed and then stand back and let them shine, the whole organization performs better. So, what should you be looking at to improve the performance of your management team?

What is their focus?

What are your managers focusing on? It can be easy for them to get caught up in focusing solely on the bottom line and forget about the employees who are contributing to that bottom line. Or, they can become so concerned with gaining recognition for themselves that they forget about the people who are really doing the work. The best management teams focus on the ‘what’ and the ‘who’. When management spends their energy on supporting their employees in determining the ‘how’ for themselves, performance improves at every level of the organization.

How are their relationships?

What kind of relationships are your managers developing? Relationships are built on mutual trust and respect; they cannot thrive in an us vs. them environment. Without strong relationships managers are ineffective. If you want to improve the performance of your management team, help them build strong, trusting, inclusive relationships.

How do they accomplish objectives?

How do your managers accomplish the objectives that you have set for them? Many managers defer to micromanagement as a means for accomplishing tasks and achieving goals. Micromanagement kills employee engagement and does more harm to productivity than good. When you put an end to micromanagement and empower employees to make decisions and take action on their own you greatly improve performance.

As Your Management Team Performs

As your management team performs, so will their employees. Make sure your managers are focusing on the right things. Help them build the relationships that lead to efficiency and top performance. Teach them to empower and support employees in accomplishing objectives rather than micromanaging them. When your management team provides the foundation employees need to succeed and can then stand back and lets employees shine, everyone’s performance improves.

What action will you take today to start improving the performance of your management team?

Liz Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the Founder of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations change attitudes, change communication dynamics, improve collaboration and problem-solving, engage employees, and strengthen organizational culture. Liz holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Liz by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

The Ultimate Determinate of Trust: Are They Friend or Foe?

“I can trust my friends; these people force me to examine myself and encourage me to grow.” —Cher

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

Trust is the foundation of all relationships and of good leadership. This applies to both our personal and professional lives. Whether you are a leader or a follower; a client or a supplier; a neighbor; or an acquaintance, on an unconscious level you are continually trying to determine whether another individual is a friend or a foe. When we trust, we feel that it is reasonable to expect kindness and concern from others and that they will look out for our best interest. When we distrust, we expect that they will act with cruel intentions and in their own best interest. When we trust, we feel safe. When we distrust, we feel the need to protect ourselves. So, what it the ultimate determination of trust? One simple question: are they friend or foe?

Inclusion or exclusion

It’s human nature to fear being excluded. We have succeeded as a civilization by banding together. In the times of our ancient ancestors, individuals who were shunned and left on their own would have been unable to thrive. Things have not changed as much as we sometimes think they have. We still rely on teaming together with other individuals with a common purpose. With friends, we always have a sense of inclusion and working together toward shared goals. With a foe, we often feel we are being excluded and left on our own. When we feel included, we start developing trust.

Safe or fearful

We all want to feel safe. Immediately upon meeting someone we unconsciously start to make judgments about if we feel safe, or if we feel threatened. Friends make us feel safe. We know we can be ourselves; we can share our thoughts and ideas. Foes make us feel fearful. We feel the need to protect ourselves; we keep our thoughts and ideas to ourselves out of fear of judgment and ridicule. When we feel safe, we start to trust.

Honest or deceitful

Friends are transparent. They are open and honest. You know what to expect from a friend and are never blindsided by dishonest motives. Friends share your goals and vision of success and the future. Friends handle disagreements fairly. Foes are deceitful. They twist the facts to meet the needs of their own agenda; an agenda that is self-serving. They are manipulative and resort to trickery and bullying when conflict arises. When others are honest, we feel we can trust them.

Authentic or fake

Friends are authentic. The friend you got yesterday is the same friend you get today and, the same friend you will get tomorrow. Friends respect you, they are always there for you, they are good listeners, and genuinely care about your well-being. You can count on friends to do what they say they are going to do. With a foe, you never know what to expect; they are fake and disrespectful. You can’t count on them, they listen only to respond, and they are only concerned with how they can benefit from the situation. When people are authentic, we feel good about trusting them.

Friend or Foe?

Are we included or excluded? Do we feel safe or fearful? Are they honest or deceitful? Are they authentic or fake? Subconsciously we are always evaluating the behaviors of others to determine if they are friend or foe. If the answer is friend, we trust. If the answer is foe, we distrust. In turn, others are looking at our behavior to signal whether we are friend or foe. Learn to embrace the behaviors and develop the friendships that allow for trusting personal and professional relationships.

Liz Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the Founder of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Liz holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Four Ways You are Making Your Employees Feel Small

“Good leaders make people feel that they’re at the very heart of things, not at the periphery.” —Warren Bennis

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

Without even realizing it, you may be making your employees feel small. Too many leaders let their ego, pride, and hidden agendas get in the way of doing what is best for the employees they are supposed to be serving. You can’t succeed alone and making employees feel small is one of the quickest ways to disengage and disenfranchise the very people who have the skills and abilities you need. Learn to recognize these four leadership behaviors that make your employees feel small.

Your ego is front and center

Your attitude, as a leader, has a huge impact on your employees. When your ego is front and center, your attitude will belittle employees making them feel small. Your ego screams that you identify yourself with power and superiority. It separates you from your employees rather than building community and cohesion.

You micromanage

Nothing appears to demonstrate a lack of trust more than micromanagement. When employees do not feel you have confidence in their abilities to do their jobs, it makes them feel small. But, if you are micromanaging, chances are it says more about you than it does about your employee’s abilities. One of the most important tasks of a leader is to make sure teams work well together and that employees feel engaged and valued. People need to feel competent and in control of their own work. Micromanagement undermines relationships, trust, engagement, performance, and loyalty.

You focus on their shortcomings

It’s important to employees that their work is significant and that they are making a meaningful contribution. When you focus on the shortcomings of your employees you make them feel that their contributions are not of value and this, in turn, makes them feel small. While it is not beneficial to overlook subpar performance, employees must see that you take as much notice of good performance as you do poor. As a leader, it is your responsibility to help employees overcome their shortcomings, not to continually rub their faces in them.

You have hidden agendas

When employees get the feeling that you are less than transparent and are operating based on hidden agendas, it tells them that you do not trust them enough to include them in the true agenda. This builds a culture of distrust that makes employees feel small. Hidden agendas make employees feel vulnerable and prevent the team from being able to work together toward shared goals. Your agenda should always be a shared agenda; hidden agendas never achieve positive results.

Start Making Employees Feel Valued

If you are ever going to succeed as a leader, you must stop making your employees feel small and start making them feel valued. Keep your ego out of it. Your employees need to see that your leadership is about them, not you. Stop micromanaging. Give you employees the training and support that they need and then let them do their jobs. Stop focusing on their shortcomings. Make sure that you acknowledge their strengths and help them to overcome their weaknesses. And, get rid of the hidden agendas. Develop a shared agenda where every employee is working toward the same goals. Your employees will perform to the level that your behavior tells them they should work at; stop making them feel small!

Are You Creating Supportive Partnerships with Your Employees?

“It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.” —Fred Allen

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

We can accomplish nothing notable alone. We need, as Fred Allen states in the quote above, to form mutually supportive partnerships. This applies both to our personal and our professional lives. In your organization, as the leader, these partnerships must start with you. You must create an environment where support can thrive. You must show your team that you have trust in their abilities and encourage them to develop trust in each other. You must build strong relationships inspire relationship building in others. You must focus on being of service and teaching others to also be of service.

Culture matters

In order to create supportive partnerships, you must establish a firm foundation that is embedded in the very culture of the organization. This culture must encourage and nourish mutually support partnerships at every level of the organization. Employees must know that they are part of a larger vision, that they matter, and that supporting each other is the secret to success.

Trust your team

Trust is a necessary component of supportive partnerships. One of the best ways you can show your support is to make sure everyone knows that you trust your team. When employees see that you have trust in team members, it gives them confidence in each other and allows them to learn to trust both you and their colleagues.

Build relationships

You can only create supportive partnerships if you truly know those who you should be supporting. You must build relationships with your employees on both a personal and a professional level. In turn, they must understand the importance and benefits of building strong relationships with each other.

Be of service

In order to create supportive partnerships, as a leader, you must set the example for your employees of the importance of being of service. You must provide for the needs of employees and serve as a coach, mentor, and cheerleader. Make sure they have access to the resources that they need. And, provide them with ample opportunity to be of service to others in the organization.

Nurture Supportive Partnerships

We are dependent on others for our individual success and the success of the whole. As the leader, you set the example. Entrench supportive partnerships into the culture of your organization. Develop a web of trust throughout your organization. Encourage the building of strong relationships. Be of service and offer opportunities for employees to serve others. When you, as a leader, nurture the creation of supportive partnerships within your organization you set everyone up for success.

Are You Earning Employee Commitment?

“Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.” —Vince Lombardi

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

Vince Lombardi nailed it. But, your employees don’t owe you their commitment. As a leader, it is your responsibility to earn the commitment of those in your organization. Looking out for your employees and earning their commitment is not only good for them, it’s good for you, and it’s good for business. When employees are committed to you, as a leader, and the organization, they work willingly in the best interest of the whole. It eliminates the ‘I’m only in it for me’ attitude. Employees are willing to give their ‘all’ to a leader, a cause, and a vision that they believe in. So, how can you earn employee commitment?

Relationships

The relationships you build with your employees are going to be key in earning their commitment. These relationships cannot be merely superficial; you must develop them on an individual level. This means not only being interested in them professionally, but also personally. Your relationships have to be real, no faking. Employees will see straight through your façade. Be yourself with employees; let them get to know the real, imperfect you. Show them that you are interested in their well-being and personal growth. Meaningful relationships earn commitment, boost productivity, and inspire employees to give 110%.

Trust

There will be no commitment from your employees without trust. The loyalty you need from your employees requires trust that goes both ways. No games; no tricks. Your actions and words must be honest and consistent. Show your employees that you have their backs. Create and share key learning moments with them. Be open about your failures and weaknesses. Also, you must provide them with a safe place to fail and learn from their mistakes. Give them control over their own work tasks, showing that you trust and have confidence in their abilities.

Communication

Earning commitment from your employees takes a whole lot of open and ongoing communication. Communication is a tool for sharing the organization’s stories in a way that brings employees together to be part of something important. Communication allows you to convey how employees’ work contributes to the overall success of the organization. Communication is also a two-way street. Listen more than you speak. Pay close attention to what is being shared and make sure you are on the same page. Communication helps you to remove the barriers to trust, which helps build the relationships that earn employee commitment.

Engagement

People simply work harder and are more committed when they are allowed to use their talents. When your employees are engaged in their work, they are more likely to be motivated, to remain committed to your organization, and to stay focused on achieving shared goals. Engaged employees have a sense of purpose and know they are making a difference. When you engage your employees in their work, you challenge them, bring out the best in them, and offer them the opportunity to grow and develop.

Acknowledgement

And finally, if you want to earn the commitment of your employees, acknowledge their contributions and value. Your employees are your greatest resource, don’t take them for granted. Show them that they are part of something bigger than themselves, something meaningful and important.

Earn Their Commitment

To be successful you need every employee to be committed to the group effort. They do not owe you this commitment; it is yours only when you have earned it. So, build strong relationships, develop mutual trust, cultivate open and honest communication, create an engaging workplace, and acknowledge the value and contributions of every employee. That’s how you make it work.

Liz Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Liz holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Six Reasons Why Your Employees Don’t Believe a Word You Say

By Doug Dickerson and Elizabeth Stincelli

“Don’t believe what I say. Believe what I do.” —Carlson Ghosn

Two psychiatrists meet at their 20th college reunion. One is vibrant, while the other looks withered and worried. “So what’s your secret?” the older looking psychiatrist asks. “Listening to other people’s problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me.” “So,” replies the younger looking one, “who listens?”

That humorous story reminds us as leaders of not just the necessity of listening but of the importance of how we communicate. It’s not so much what we say that’s important but that we are leaders who understand why our people should listen to us in the first place.

If your people are tuning you out and not believing what you say then your leadership is on life-support. Knowing the symptoms is the first step in turning things around. If your people don’t believe a word you say then here are six reasons why.

You are self-centered

If you are a self-centered leader your people will not believe you because you are only looking out for yourself. When decisions are made based upon what is best for you –what makes you look good- then you are using your people. Self-centered leadership tends to be manipulative and puts what is best for you above what is best for the team. If you are a self-centered leader you’d better wake up before it’s too late. One day you will look around and you’ll discover that not only are your people not believing you – they are not following you either.

You are inconsistent

Inconsistent actions produce inconsistent results. The flow and continuity of your leadership is essential to your success. If you say one thing and do another then those very actions will lead to mistrust and will marginalize your leadership. Flexibility is a must for any team moving forward. Unexpected things happen and your people will have to learn to go with the flow. But if you are inconsistent in terms of what you communicate or how you treat them it will be impossible for them to move forward or have faith in your leadership.

You don’t have their backs

Nothing will empower your team faster than having the backs of your people. A good leader knows this. But your people will not believe you if your message to them says “I have your back” yet you are nowhere to be found when they need you. When you empower your people and have their backs you create a momentum that can take your team to new levels of success. Don’t squander the drive, motivation, and ingenuity of your people by failing at this one critical element of your leadership. If you have the backs of your people they will have yours.

Your ego is front and center

If, as a leader, your ego is front and center, your employees won’t believe a word you say. Your ego can prevent you from seeing the world as it really is; you begin interpreting reality through your own biased lens. When your ego is front and center you send the message that your opinion is the only one that matters. Soon your employees, tired of hearing about how you know everything, will stop listening to you at all.

You lead with fear

If you lead with fear you will never earn the trust of your employees and they won’t believe a word you say. Fear stimulates the fight or flight response. In this state of mind, there is no higher-level cognitive thinking. When you lead with fear your employees disengage and become more focused on protecting themselves than what you are saying. Your attempt to control your employee’s behavior through fear will result in distrust and will undermine your ability to share your message and vision.

They don’t feel valued

Our success is deeply intertwined with our ability to collaborate. When your employees don’t feel valued they lose interest in continuing to try to contribute to the team. They withdraw and you lose the value of their unique skills and knowledge. Your employees need to have a voice and to have their individual contributions recognized and valued. Communication is a two-way street and when your employees don’t feel valued, you lose their respect which has a negative impact your ability to communicate and influence as a leader. When your employees don’t feel valued they won’t believe a word you say.

The key to leadership is trust and influence. If your people don’t believe a word you say, you have lost your ability to lead. It’s time to evaluate your leadership. Is your leadership self-centered or inconsistent? Do you have your employee’s backs? Is your ego front and center? Are you leading with fear? Do your people feel valued? Answer these questions honestly, make a change, and start leading today.

####

Doug Dickerson is an internationally recognized leadership speaker, columnist, and author. For more information about his books and speaking engagements visit Dougdickerson.wordpress.com

Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

Relationships: Strategy or Trust?

“Friend, there’s no greater investment in life than in being a people builder. Relationships are more important than our accomplishments.”—Joel Osteen

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

Why Relationships Matter

Relationships play a role in every area of our lives; every experience, every lesson learned, every accomplishment. Our businesses are built on relationships, our friendships, our communities, and our families are all dependant on our ability to develop strong relationships. Relationships serve as a barometer, telling us if someone is a friend or a foe.

When it comes to your relationships, are they based solely on strategic positioning, or are they built on trust? Are they authentic? Are they rooted in looking out for each other’s best interests, or are you each in it only for yourselves?

Built on strategy?

Ross Perot believes, “Business is not just doing deals; business is having great products, doing great engineering, and providing tremendous service to customers. Finally, business is a cobweb of human relationships.” Are your relationships focused only on the deal? Relationships based solely on strategy are usually one-sided; they are manipulative and unsupportive. Are you focused on what’s in it for you? If you find yourself only doing for others because you expect something in return, you are in a strategic relationship.

Built on trust?

Albert Einstein told us, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.” Trusting connection is what brings relationships to life. Are you treating others the way you would like to be treated? Relationships built on trust are open and welcoming. In these types of relationships you are seeking to create win-win situations. Your communications are transparent and honest, and your intentions are clear. If you are each looking out for the best interest of the other, you are in a trusting relationship.

Build Strong Relationships

Strategic relationships are like a game of chess, except no one wins in this game. Mona Sutphen said, “Most good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.” When you build strong relationships you create shared successes. You feel comfortable in these relationships knowing that your communications are honest, that they are not self-serving, and they are mutually supportive. Relationships are the vehicle with which you gain influence, create situations in which everyone wins, and achieve your goals. Building strong relationships which are based on trust, not strategy, is the key to success in your business, in your community, and in your home.

Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

Become an Exceptional Leader

“One rare and exceptional deed is worth far more than a thousand commonplace ones.” —Saint Ignatius

By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM

Exceptional Leadership

Exceptional leadership is not about you, it’s about those who follow you. It is the responsibility of the leader to steer the ship. But, an exceptional leader goes beyond just setting the course, they help their team to shape their ideas into something meaningful and then empower and encourage them to see their ideas come to fruition. Exceptional leaders focus on helping others achieve success. They have a strong sense of purpose and communicate that purpose to others through their words and actions. They develop strong relationships built on trust and respect. And, they engage others in their purpose by providing meaningful work and opportunities that inspire others to become the best they can be. Start working on becoming an exceptional leader today.

Communication

Rollo May believed that, “Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing.” Exceptional leaders understand the value of open communication in building a trusting, safe environment where employees feel their ideas and contributions are valued. This type of environment fosters as sense of community and the collaboration necessary for true innovation and success. Exceptional leaders use conversations to build connections by giving others their undivided attention. They use conversations as a means of provoking questions not providing answers. This allows them to incorporate the contributions from a variety of sources into one, awesome idea.

Trust

Stephen Covey tells us, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” Exceptional leaders are authentic, approachable, and compassionate. They empathize with others on a deep and personal level. We trust people who share our values, who do what they say they will do, who authentically invest in our relationship, and who treat us as they wish to be treated. Exceptional leaders understand that without trust they have little or no influence.

Engagement

Ian K. Smith said, “I think happiness is a combination of pleasure, engagement, and meaningfulness.” Exceptional leaders understand that everyone wants to feel engaged and of value. People want to know there is a purpose to their tasks, to be given control over their work, and to be encouraged to make it their own. Exceptional leaders see the value of the skills, experience, and knowledge that employees throughout the organization have to offer. They provide meaning and create opportunities for employee to engage in contributing to a purpose that speaks to them on an individual level.

Become an Exceptional Leader

Exceptional leaders bring people under a common purpose and then allow them to create their own ideas and provide the support they need to flourish. People will follow an individual in a position of authority because they have to; they will follow an exceptional leader because they want to. Commit to becoming an exceptional leader; build open communication, earn trust, and encourage engagement. You will make a difference in the lives of those who follow you and they will reward you with the loyalty and support you need to bring your leadership vision to life.